The Super-Awesome Internet Quiz
February 26, 2005 3:51 PM
King of internet quizzes
crocoPuffs Feature: The Super-Awesome Internet Quiz
Update (6/8/05):
A website named "I Am Bored" picked up this quiz. I found the ensuing thread of comments to be hilarious.
Read the comments here.
Who says romance is dead?
February 25, 2005 11:49 PM
My grocery store has a few self-checkout lanes where shoppers scan and bag their own groceries. The other day I was utilizing the "convenience" of said technological marvel when I noticed that whoever used the station before me didn't take their receipt with them, it was still hanging from the printer. Me being nosy, I took a peek at it. Check it out:
Yeah, condoms and rib bones. Let's speculate as to what might be going down at someone's house causing the shopping list to constitute condoms and rib bones. Think the condoms are placed on the bones and the bones placed somewhere ... uncomfortable? Maybe it's just an innocent night of cooking soup and having sex. Probably some casanova's idea of a hot date.
The old man is snoring
February 24, 2005 7:51 PM
Give rain some respect.
crocoPuffs Feature: The old man is snoring
Noodle nostril
February 19, 2005 10:28 PM
Today crocoKid was eating noodles and somehow managed to get a piece of one in her nose. CrocoWife started digging around in there, trying to get the noodle out. "I can't get it," she said.
Trying to be helpful, I offered, "Maybe you need a pair of noodle-nose pliers."
"Shut up," she said, laughing.
That may be the greatest pun ever. I deserve an award.
Leisure time squandered!
February 17, 2005 1:28 PM
The Onion has a hilarious report detailing the leisure time hours that are constantly lost. "Week after week of potential relaxation time is squandered to jobs, with millions of would-be leisurers prohibited from sleeping in." Read it here.
Worst television commercial of 2005
February 17, 2005 12:36 AM
Pizza-eating Muppets.
crocoPuffs Feature: Worst television commercial of 2005
Finished Half-Life 2
February 16, 2005 11:28 AM
It only took me two and a half months to complete the game ... but, what the hell. The phrase "finish a game" has slowly disappeared from my vocabulary since crocoKid's birth. In that two year span, I've played to completion exactly three games: Advance Wars, Knights of the Old Republic and Half-Life 2.
The Good
The gravity gun. This invention is the coolest video game contraption I've seen in a while. Forget about PDA's and the crap other games are using, innovation like the gravity gun blows them away. And it comes complete with a surprise to boot.
"Dog" More levels featuring Dog would have been very welcome.
Striders. These daddy-long-leg enemies are really fun to fight against. The strider levels might be the best levels of the game.
Headcrabs. Nothing creeps me out in a game more than the Half-Life headcrabs. When they're in the room I start to panic. I'll ignore just about any other threat until the headcrabs are killed. They're always jumping at my face, aarrgghh! Get 'em off! Get 'em off! The enemy I love to hate.
The Bad
Dialogue sound glitch. While the game ran perfectly 90% of the time, In a lot of the scenes with character dialogue, the stuttering and clipping was so bad I could not understand a word they were saying. Half the time manageable, other times unbearable.
The story. Okay, the story isn't "bad", but it's not great either. From reading critical reviews, you'd think it was the video game equivalent of L.A. Confidential. It serves the basic purpose of moving the player along from one level to the next. And that's all.
Overall, Half-Life 2 is pretty damn good. The best thing going for it is its variety of gameplay. One minute you're in an all-out gunfight, the next you're sneaking past a strider, the next you're driving a hoverbike, and the next you're chopping up zombies with booby-traps. Fun for the whole family!
Leave well enough alone
February 12, 2005 9:35 PM
When I was a kid, I read books about the Berenstein Bears. Some time in the last 20 years, they were changed to the Berenstain Bears. Stein, Stain. What, bears can't be Jewish?
And tonight, ABC ran the Charlie Brown Valentine special. Not "Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown", from 1975 which we all watched for years, but "A Charlie Brown Valentine" from 2002. What the hell was wrong with the original? All the voice work is WAY wrong in the 2002 version. They barely sound like the same characters from all those great 1970s cartoons, Lucy in particular sounds nothing like she should.
So what's with all the changes? I can understand changes if something became offensive as time passed, but c'mon ... BerenSTAIN Bears? What the fuck.
Kitten calendar
February 11, 2005 12:38 AM
At the request of a co-worker who thinks my online crocoPuffs persona does not match my real-life persona, here is a picture of the calendar I have hanging at my desk. I'm not sure in what way cute little kittens affect my being crocoPuffs, but anyway ... here it is. Think of me what you will.
No more pickles!
February 10, 2005 10:22 PM
Why are people obsessed with pickles? I hate 'em. Every hamburger and sandwich in America has pickles on it, or is served with pickles on the side, or has pickles instead of meat and cheese. I'm sick of pickles, no more pickles!
I can't order the simplest grilled sandwich without some clown tossing a pickle into the box.
Ride this broomstick
February 9, 2005 3:20 PM
This is old news, but I was thinking about it today and it made me laugh all over again.
Fact #1: Some toy company created a toy called the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom which was being sold on amazon.com. The broom is battery powered which enables the broom to - among other things - vibrate. A vibrating toy broom, got it?
Fact #2: Amazon.com has a system which allows customers to review products. You can give a product a grade and write some comments. For the aforementioned vibrating broom, some pranksters started posting comments like these:
"I bought this broom for my daughter for her birthday. She and her friends really love it! They play with it for hours at a time in her bedroom!"
"I purchased the Harry Potter broom for my son, but he didn't really like it that much. But his sister loves it! She took it out of his closet and just keeps it in her room all the time."
That is some funny shit. I love it.
Perfect Ass
February 7, 2005 10:48 AM
The science of ass watching.
crocoPuffs Feature: Perfect Ass
Boyfriend troubles at 22 months
February 3, 2005 6:41 PM
My (almost 2 year-old) daughter received her very first Valentine's Day Card yesterday. Her "boyfriend" sent it to her. As you can see, it's very sweet. And his handwriting is remarkably good for his age!
Then it struck me. The wording on the card. "First and cutest girlfriend." I couldn't help but notice that it doesn't say "only." And using the word "first" implies there is a "second." I think he's cheating on her.
Potato chips commitment
February 3, 2005 12:23 AM
I was eating some chips at lunch the other day when one of my lunchmates pointed at something on the back of the bag. Not sure why he was inspecting my bag of chips, but anyway ...
There is a quote on the back of the bag, part of which reads, "for the rest of your life."
Wow. That's quite a commitment for a bag of fried potatoes to be requesting. I'm not sure I'm prepared to commit my life to these chips. I don't think I can eat these chips anymore. Nice try, Frito-Lay! Your plan backfired!
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