I encountered the woman in the elevator again this morning.

We both pulled in to the parking garage at about the same time.  She reached the elevator first, and stepped inside while I was still approaching.  I knew she was already pressing the "close doors" button before I got there, but considering it never works, and the doors stay open for like 5 minutes before closing, I took my sweet ass time taking those last few steps.  And of course, when I finally stepped inside she was mashing away on that broken "close doors" button.  Surprisingly, the doors didn't budge until they were good and ready.

The elevator stopped at my floor, and no sooner do I step one foot off the elevator car and she's pounding the button again.  The broken button that never works.  Hey, did I mention that the "close doors" button is disabled?  Well, it is.  But she's the only person in the building who hasn't noticed.  I guess she figures the button will work for her because she's in more of a hurry than everyone else.

I've devised a plan.

Next time I encounter her in the elevator, I'm going to stand outside the doors and smile at her.  If she finds time between button presses to ask me if I'm getting on, I plan to respond, "No, you go ahead, I'm in no hurry."  And then I'll wave to her as the doors close.  But in that last instant right before the doors fully close, I'm going to throw her a mean look.  Let her stick that in her pipe and smoke it for a while.