There are a lot of dumb jokes I hate.  I know they're intended to be cheerful little friendly blurbs, but goddammit, they piss me off!

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Hardy-fucking-har.

That is the stupidest, cheesiest, oldest wisecrack in the book of stupid, cheesy, old wisecracks.

What I hate most is how overused it is.  Usually some nerd will whip it out on you when you ask the most benign of questions, like, "What kind of sandwich is that?"

And when I say "nerd", I mean it.  I think you know the kind of person I'm talking about here.  The kind of person who thinks "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," is funny.

Next person who says that to me gets a flipping ninja foot to the ass.