What REALLY happened to force Dave Chappelle off the air.  It's true, I swear!

www.chappelletheory.com

I'm walking down O'Farrell street towards Union Square when a jaywalking white guy almost gets hit by a car.  The driver's window is rolled down, and traffic is crawling, so they exchange words as the driver rolls along slowly.

Jaywalker:  Hey! I'm crossing the street!
Driver:  Yeah, I know.
Jaywalker:  You almost hit me!
Driver:  You're walking in the middle of the street!
Jaywalker:  What were you thinking?!
Driver:  C'mon man, you saw me coming!
Jaywalker:  Why don't you pull over then?
Driver:  What!?

The driver screeches to a halt and jumps out of the car.  He's a six foot black guy, and gets right in the jaywalker's face.

Driver:  Pull over for what!?  What are you gonna do!?
Jaywalker:  err ... umm ...
Driver:  Well ... !?
Jaywalker:  ...
Driver:  That's what I thought.

The driver hops back into his car and speeds away.

That satire-crazy fake newspaper site, The Onion, tackles video game controversy ... brilliantly.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43441

I may be the only person on the planet who watched Arrested Development and is glad it is being canceled.  It's just not that good.  It's not that funny, not that clever, not that entertaining.  At first I thought it was me.  I kept hearing how great it was, how underappreciated and brilliant, and if only more people would watch it, it could be saved.  I gave it a fair shot.  I watched a season and a half worth of episodes.  It never won me over.  Good riddance!

If you're interested in truly good shows, you should be watching Everybody Hates Chris and My Name is Earl.  These are programs with great casts, great writing, solid premises and high entertainment value.

Me:  Don't stand on the arm of the chair, please.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?
Me:  Because you might get hurt.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?
Me:  Because you might fall off.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?
Me:  Because you could lose your balance.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?
Me:  Because your inner ear isn't working at the same level as an adult's.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?
Me:  Because you're only 2 and a half.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?
Me:  Because that's when you were born, two and a half years ago.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?
Me:  ...
crocoKid:  Daddy?  Watch this!
Me:  Don't stand on the arm of the chair, please.
crocoKid:  Why ... ?

"Coach put you in the game, now it's time to prove you belong."

Pepper your speech with these crocoPuffs-created, sports-related metaphors; people will respect and fear you!  You will become the recognized authority on everything!