I won't be the first or the last person to post this today. Apparently Faith Hill believes she is a far superior vocalist to Carrie Underwood, and displays her disgust in this video.
The best part is the way she raises her arms right after the name is called, but just before she realizes it wasn't her. Soooo egomaniacal, she was just sooo sure she was the winner. I love this.
Oh boy, and today's spin is good too. Apparently, Faith was just joking. Just joking? Please! We've seen the video, does she really expect us to believe that was a joke? What gives her away is that she holds her arms up in victory before it dawns on her that her name was not called, and the look of recognition which crosses her face. That was no joke, that was her genuine reaction. It was so beautifully genuine, it's an insult for her to claim it as a joke.
"The country music superstar says she was just joking when cameras showed her screaming 'WHAT?' in apparent anger when she lost the female vocalist of the year award to newcomer Carrie Underwood"
I know this is old now (a whole 3 weeks), but if you haven't seen the "Lazy Sunday" music video from SNL with Andy Sandberg and Chris Parnell, you should grab the download of it off iTunes and check it out.
And when you're done with that, you can read up on Andy's history and how he got on SNL by visiting The Lonely Island. Don't miss "Awsometown", the failed pilot these guys shot, it's funnier than SNL has been the last two seasons.
In fact, it's hard to believe these guys are writing for SNL. Who can tell? SNL has been as unfunny as it's ever been.
How does Apple manage to get away with the same tactics Microsoft is known for using, but without all the brow-beating? I wanted to watch the new King Kong trailer which requires Quicktime 7. No problem, Quicktime is a solid product, I have no qualms about upgrading. I clicked to upgrade the software, and the installation began. The installation for iTunes, that is. I didn't want to install iTunes, but I had no choice. It seems to be required, there's no custom installation option to install ONLY Quicktime.
Turns out there is a link buried on the page for installing only Quicktime, but there is no warning on the regular download telling you iTunes is bundled, so by the time you begin to install it and attempt to get around it, you feel like it's too late to go back to the download page and start over.
I swear, if Microsoft had done this with Windows Media Player there would be lawsuits and people screaming from rooftops and all manner of disorderly conduct in the streets in order to paint Microsoft as a bully yet again.
On an unrelated note, I purchased my first iPod recently. I'm liking it a lot, it's pretty damn sweet. I think it might be one of those technologies, like TiVo, that sounds okay when you hear about it, but you don't fully appreciate it until you start using it yourself.
While on hold with my local DirecTV provider, the "on hold" music was the worst fucking music I've ever heard. I think they play horrible music on purpose. They want me to hang up in disgust so they don't have to take my call. This one song in particular (must have been titled "Tears of Joy", since that was the main thrust of the chorus, with all the cheesiness that implies) sounded like it was written by a 3rd grader and sung by a wolverine. The song was intended to be inspirational, but the only thing it inspired me to do was write this entry about how awful it was.
How come when you're on hold they don't give you a menu to choose the music you want to listen to? They have all this crazy technology now with voice recognition and confusing, number punching, brainwave reading, menu trees. Once you get through that mess and are actually on hold, you'd think they'd let you "press 1 for reggae" and "press 2 for showtunes" and "press 3 for music your ears can bleed to." At least that way I wouldn't feel like the bad music was being forced upon me, it would be my choice to listen to it and then complain about it on the Internets. As it is, I have no choice. I'm forced to complain about it because I was forced to listen to it.
Attended a big-ticket concert the other night (I'll keep my dignity intact by not mentioning the name of the performer we went to see. CrocoWife's choice, not mine.) and learned a brand new use for cell phones. When it was time to light flames in the arena, the butane lighter was no longer the tool of choice. The glowstick is sooo 1980s, and matches never really worked that well anyway. So now it's the cell phone. Everybody waved one slowly back and forth as if in an apocalyptic trance. It made a nice effect, looked pretty much like glowsticks, but I couldn't help thinking people were missing the point. Holding up a lighter has meaning. The flame, representing life. Or death. Or something poignant, anyway. Holding up a cell phone smacks of cheap consumerism. Why not just hold up a Gameboy or a PSP? There were probably people there who played Gameboy through the whole damn concert because it sucked so bad. Okay, okay, stop asking! It was Gwen Stefani, all right!? You broke me down, I hope you're happy! The Black Eyed Peas opened for Gwen, and I had more fun with their performance than with the headliner.
The other interesting cell phone phenomenon happened in between acts, when re-configuring the stage. A text message board went up on the big screen that anyone with a Verizon phone could send messages to. The messages were exactly what you would expect them to be: "I love you Janet, will you marry me?", "Scream if you love Napoleon Dynamite", "Gwen rock5!!", etc. So I sent a message. Which never made it onto the screen. I did it as a joke, to see what the crowd reaction would be, but somebody must be monitoring the messages, because it didn't get past the screening process. My message was "Scream if you love Star Wars." In retrospect, I bet they thought it was some sort of viral advertisement and didn't let it through. Which I can understand, considering the Episode III DVD is for sale in a couple weeks.
I enjoyed a lovely weekend with the family this ... weekend. We drove to Monterey and grooved on the beach and at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. At the aquarium, crocoKid liked the jellyfish, didn't like the giant tuna, too scary with their downturned mouths and ugly grey scales. And she was surprisingly indifferent to the sea otters. I love the sea otters, those filthy showoffs. They dive and loop and swim on their backs and wrestle with kelp and the more people watching, they more they do it. They're just so cute!
Then we ventured into San Francisco to attend a "Bugs Bunny on Broadway" performance by the San Francisco Symphony (see, I gots culture). The show is fantastic, this was the second time we've seen it, first time for crocoKid. She was good for about an hour of it, and we left during intermission. My motivation for mentioning it here is because it's a great show, but the damn thing wasn't even close to sold out.
I didn't realize it was playing until early last week when I received a postcard from the symphony soliciting ticket buyers. We didn't have plans for Saturday, so we picked up the tix. Obviously, sending a mailer so late meant they really needed to sell some tickets.
Here's how it works, they project Bugs Bunny cartoons on a big screen (not quite movie theatre size) while the orchestra plays the cartoons' music live. And they show all the classics: "One Froggy Evening", "Bunny of Seville", "High Note." It's a fun show, so I was shocked at the number of empty seats.
It's a traveling show -- sponsored by Warner Bros. -- so check your local symphony's schedule. If it's playing in your town, buy tickets today!
Last night on NBC's Hit Me Baby, One More Time, Vanilla Ice took the stage and, for the first time in history, actually did wax a few chumps like candles. Vanilla (or "Vaniller", as the host insisted on pronouncing it) won last night's episode and sent some cash to the Make a Wish Foundation as his prize. He beat out the likes of Tommy Tutone and Haddaway, who were so pathetic Vanilla probably could have won by default. However, he orchestrated a rousing rendition of his classic Ice Ice Baby and deserved the win.
In other news, HBO's new series The Comeback, starring Lisa Kudrow, sucks mongoose balls. It was torture to watch, and I immediately graded it 3 red thumbs down on TiVo.
All right, stop
Collaborate and listen
Ice is back, with a brand new invention
Something, grabs a hold of me tightly
Flows like a heartbeat, daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know
Pick up the mic, and I flow
To the extreme, I rock the mic like a vandal
Light up the stage, waxing chumps like a candle
Because sit around singing ancient rap lyrics to myself in my head, I was thinking about this classic Run-DMC verse today:
I'm the king of rock,
there is none higher!
Sucker MCs,
should call me sire!
To burn my kingdom,
you must use fire!
Really? Okay then, hand me a match. Your kingdom doesn't sound very secure to me. In terms of smack talking, that's not a very strong lyric. I think the verse should have went something like this:
I'm the king of rock,
there is none higher!
Sucker MCs,
should call me sire!
To burn my kingdom,
you must use an air-to-ground nuclear missile!
But I guess that doesn't rhyme with "higher", does it?
Celine Dion calls her Las Vegas audiences sleepy drunks. "People come here for four days, they eat too much, drink too many free drinks, they get sick from all that, they are jet-lagged sometimes so they just sit in the seat and sleep," she said.
Well yeah, that ... or your boring show sends people into a deep fucking slumber.
Watch the video and you will see the truth. Her camp went into spin mode, saying it was the first time Ashlee ever used a "backing track". And her band played the wrong song. And she had acid reflux. Do they think we are idiots? Do they think it is some kind of industry secret that singers lip sync all the time? Hell, I'm more surprised when someone DOESN'T lip sync. Check out her flub
