Want to know why I never remember your birthday: because I don't care.  So you were born on this day x number of years ago.  What does that mean to me?  Why should I care?  Seriously, why should I?  Something close to 11,000 people are born every day in just the United States.  What makes you so special, bitch?  I mean, what's next, do I have to start celebrating your anniversary?  Your first kiss?  Birthdays are weak, except for mine, mine rules.

Additionally, why am I forced to celebrate other people's birthdays at work?  I don't even want to celebrate MY OWN birthday at work.  Screw you and your smiling happiness, cake on your nose, present opening birthday.  I want no part of it, I probably barely even know you.

I worked at a place once where everyone in the department would rotate buying a cake when it was someone's birthday.  I see, so it's not enough that I attend the stupid cake eating ritual, but I'm also required to purchase and bring the damn thing!?  Okay, fine.  I just hope you don't bite down on one of the hidden razor blades.  Whoops!

I think the people who are into birthdays are the same fools that wear hawaiian shirts on Fridays.