There's a well-known (and well-worn) piece of advice that suggests when speaking in front of crowds you should picture the audience naked to ease your nerves.  This advice, while normally reserved for people facing large crowds, can probably work on a smaller scale as well.  If you're feeling nervous or intimidated by any one person, you can imagine him/her in the nude.  I guess that tactic works for some people, but I've got a better approach.

Instead of picturing them nude, picture them taking a dump.  You know, pinching a loaf, dropping a deuce, unloading a crate of cigars, cutting rope, dropping anchor.  Shitting.  Imagine everyone in the crowd is punishing the porcelain.  If that doesn't ease the pressure (no pun intended), I don't know what does!  And it works especially well on people who think they are the bees' knees.  The prissy, pretentious pricks who think they rule the world.  Visualize them releasing a depth charge and your perception of them is cut right down to size.

Try it now.  Imagine someone really prissy, or really intimidating, or really powerful, or someone who just thinks they are above it all.  Here's a few you can choose from: Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Martha Stewart.  Now imagine any one of them sitting on the toilet laying a fat steamer into the bowl.  Pants around their ankles, toilet paper in hand, maybe grunting a little bit.  How scary is that person now?  Try this with someone you know.  Someone from work or school that really bugs you, the type of person who is always condescending.  Or that really hot chick you're afraid to talk to.  Picture that bitch taking a dump and I guarantee you will feel less intimidated by her.

The reason picturing someone backing one out is better than picturing someone naked is because the latter can backfire on you.  If you're trying to get up the nerve to talk to a hot chick and you envision her naked ... that's not gonna help.  You'll just freeze up when you picture that perfect ass.  You'll get caught up thinking about how great her tits must look, and what color her nipples are.  You'll be lost in the moment and more nervous then ever as you imagine what kind of bush she has: a Hitler, a Howie Mandel, or an Amazon jungle.  The concept simply does not work in all situations.

But ... freeing the chocolate hostages always works because everybody does it.  It's a fact of life.  It's easy to imagine because you know they actually do it.  It's a tangible reality which makes it much more powerful.  Picturing them naked is not so good, because a gorgeous naked person can be more intimidating than a clothed one.  And what if it's Dirk Diggler!?  That's not gonna help your self-esteem any.  You can thank me later for this nugget (no pun intended) of wisdom.  Now get out there and start imagining turtle heads!