Top 10s


Feature "Click It or Ticket"
Stupid ass slogan for an unnecessary law.
May 25, 2004
"Click It or Ticket" is the current campaign from the U.S. Department of Pain in Croco's Ass (maybe it's the U.S. Department of Transportation, I'm not sure).  "Click It or Ticket."  How clever.  It rhymes.

I wonder about the intended usefulness of enforcing seatbelt laws.  Because it saves lives, right?  Well then, to use an obvious analogy, why aren't people ticketed for smoking cigarettes?  Wouldn't lives be saved if people stopped smoking?  Perhaps we should ticket people with high cholesterol and high blood pressure, their lives are on the line too, you know!

Ultimately, shouldn't it be my choice -- or more high-mindedly -- my civil freedom, to decide if I want to endanger my life?  If I drive without a seatbelt, I'm not endangering somebody else's life, I'm endangering my own.  If seatbelts are so important that we need to ticket people who don't wear them, then why are motorcycles legal?  No motorcycle comes equipped with a seatbelt.  Instead, motorcyclists get in trouble for not wearing helmets.  Again, why does the government need to concern themselves with my personal safety?  If I want to ride helmet free and risk death, that's my prerogative, isn't it? 

Here's a quote from the website www.buckleupamerica.org, "Safety belt enforcement is not about writing tickets, but about saving lives."  Really?  Then why the fuck is the slogan "Click It or Ticket"?!  Right there in the slogan is the threat of writing tickets!  If it were truly about saving lives, wouldn't the slogan be "Wear a Seatbelt, Stay Alive?"

I can only imagine how many hundreds of millions of dollars the government is spending on this campaign (reportedly $500 million).  And for what?  According to the NHTSA (www.nhtsa.gov), the annual highway death toll has hovered around 42,000 since 1995.  That's almost 10 years of no decline in deaths.  If "Click It or Ticket" is about saving lives, then consider the campaign a colossal failure and waste of taxpayer dollars.

Here's what I think.  Any moron who dies in a fiery car crash because he didn't wear a seatbelt ... good riddance.  My life will be more fulfilling with fewer of those dumb-assess clogging the highway.  Wearing a seatbelt is an excellent idea and an obvious choice, so you won't catch me crying over anybody who is too stupid to realize that on their own.  If they're not wearing seatbelts, they deserve to get beheaded in a spectacular wreck.  Darwinism rules.

- crocoPuffs


Reader Response

Date: 6/27/2004
From: Keith <chasingfreedom[snip]@yahoo.com>
Subject: Click It or Ticket

Hello there,

I read your rant about Click It or Ticket and I found it very intresting. I am 110% against mandatory seatbelt laws as I belive its a matter of personal choice, not something for the government to decide for me.

I run a Yahoo group on this topic called [snip] that I am trying to organize a movement for this whole thing. I would love to have you join my group and post there or just read.

I would also (of course) appreciate you getting the word out about the group if you know of any way to do this.

The URL to the group is below.

Let's see ... do I know of any way to get the word out about your little group?  Let me think ... hmmmmm.  Nope.  Can't think of a single way that I could help you promote your crusade.  Sorry.  Nice try, rookie!

Is it possible to be against something 110%?  My Magic 8 Ball says no.

Date: 8/3/2004
From: Cody Shook
Subject: Click It or Ticket

Hey man,

I'm was really interested when I read Click It or Ticket. I am with you about how smokers should get tickets if the government wants to save lives.

The thing is you are the fat people you talked about that should get tickets. Your so lazy you can even reach over and put a seatbelt on. It ain't that big of a deal. I do think it is bullshit but I just do it. It takes five seconds at the most to put it on?

"I'm was?"  "Your so lazy?"  What kind of grammar is that?  All your base are belong to us.

Clearly you didn't read the entire article.  Maybe you should re-read the final paragraph.  Nowhere did I write that I don't wear a seatbelt.  I value my life, so of course I wear one, you dolt.  The point here is that I don't need someone telling to me to wear it, I'm smart enough to figure that out on my own.  And for the people who are not smart enough ... a single tear falls from my eye.

Now, to all you "I'm-smarter-than-Croco" wannabes, can you at least read the whole fucking thing before firing off email that makes you sound like an idiot?  Of course, it is inevitable that you sound stupid in your email, but what the hell, go nuts, read the ENTIRE article.  Thank you.


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