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Feature The crocoDraft™
My solution for staffing America's military.
October 13, 2004
With the current war in Iraq, and the upcoming North Korean war, America will soon be necessitating a military draft.  I think the American government would be wise to institute the crocoDraft™.  Here's how it works.  Every American citizen writes down names of three people they know.  The people who receive the most votes get drafted.  It doesn't get any more democratic than that!  If the army needs 10,000 troops, just take the top 10,000 vote getters.  If they all get killed and the army needs another 10,000, no problem.  The next 10,000 top vote getters are raring to go!  It's a goddamned unlimited army!  Am I a fucking genius or what!?

If your family is not a big fan of Uncle Moe, you can all vote for him and send him off to Iraq.  Does that twenty-something slacker living across the street annoy the shit out of you?  Vote for him and send him off to defend the country which provides him the freedom to slack.  Just think of all the incompetent people you see everyday that you can eliminate from your life via the crocoDraft™.  Not only do we build a larger military, we simultaneously strengthen the country by getting rid of the dead weight!  Am I a fucking genius or what!?

If you think the presidential candidates are slinging mud in their debates, just imagine the dirty fighting that would happen in the crocoDraft™ debates.  Millions of candidates, all vying to NOT get your vote!  Finally, U.S. citizens will wield the power they've always wanted!  Am I a motherfucking mad genius or what!?  Bwaahaahaha!!

- crocoPuffs


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