Top 10s


Feature All uptight with nothing to complain about
Much ado about the MNF/Desperate Housewives ad.
November 18, 2004
Before the game started, this week's Monday Night Football ran a promotion for Desperate Housewives featuring a nude Nicollette Sheridan flirting with Philadelphia Eagles player Terrell Owens.  You can see a video of it by clicking here.

When I said Sheridan was nude, you can see I used the term loosely.  All the viewer sees is her calves, shoulders, and back for a split second.  So, guess what happened.  Just like with Janet Jackson at the Superbowl, people lost their fucking minds. 

Viewers complained to the FCC, who is currently debating whether they should investigate the "incident".  ABC, the network which broadcasts Monday Night Football issued a fucking apology.  Tony Dungy, head coach of the Indianapolis Colts (whom were not even part of the broadcast, the game was played between the Eagles and Dallas Cowboys) said, "If that's the way they're going to promote things, I hope they never have us on Monday Night Football again."  And the NFL issued a statement calling it "inappropriate and unsuitable for our Monday Night Football audience.  While ABC may have gained attention for one of its other shows, the NFL and its fans lost."

I'm curious.  When did America become a nation of sissies?  All this over-protective, overly-sensitive bullshit makes me want to fucking puke!  Did you watch the ad?  Click the link above and watch it.  There's no skin to speak of, it's playful not sultry, it's obviously a spoof.  I don't see how ANYONE could find that offensive.  I've seen more controversial material in Bert and Ernie's bedroom on Sesame Street!  And if Dungy doesn't think that sort of thing is appropriate for a football game, I don't see how he can be a head coach in the league.  He obviously hates football.

I'd like to write more on this topic, but I need to get ready for watching football on Sunday.  Can't wait to see the Coors Light twins, and the Miller Lite mud wrestling girls, and the half-dressed cheerleaders the networks aim the camera at after every commercial, and the masturbating Herbal Essences woman in the shower, and the hot weather girl on the Fox pregame show (who is soon to appear in Playboy).

The thing killing me is how huge a story this has become.  A google search for "'monday night football' 'desperate housewives'" returns almost 23,000 results.  Every radio show, every news show, every website (this one included, apparently) is talking about it.  It's a non-issue.  There's no real story here.  If you were prioritizing what's important in your life, how high on the list would "sexuality on TV" rank?  Man, we are stupid.

Next person offended by mild sexuality gets a neck-cracking, bone-shattering, flipping ninja headbutt.

- crocoPuffs


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