The ad wizards of America never fail to create an advertisement even worse than the one which came before.  The current honor goes to Swanson, the makers of Hungry-Man frozen dinners.

I saw a television commercial yesterday for the Hungry-Man XXL line of frozen dinners.  As you can see, each package from this product line proudly proclaims to be "1 1/2 lbs. of food."  Do they consider that a positive attribute for this product?  I guess if I were a boxer trying to move up a weight class I'd be interested in a meal which guarantees an immediate weight gain.  Just think, if I eat one of these for lunch and dinner every day, I can gain 30 pounds in only 10 days!  With a side order of heart attacks!  Excellent! 

The tag line for the ad was, "It's good to be full."  Good to be full?  No, you dumb bitches.  If you are full, you fucking ate too much!  That's not "good", that's "gluttony."  The jackasses who buy this product eat until they feel full then wonder why they weigh 427 lbs.  It seems Swanson has not looked around lately and seen all the fatasses currently running around the country.  Hence, their brilliant campaign to propagate the idea that eating until you're almost ready to puke is "good."

I think they should put a big red label on their box warning potential buyers, "1 1/2 lbs. in, 1 1/2 lbs. out.  Hungry-Man XXL may cause bowel irritation."  Or maybe Swanson can partner with Home Depot and attach a $200 discount coupon to each box.  You'll appreciate the savings when it's time to replace your plumbing because the pipes are permanently clogged with your massive Hungry-Man logs.

This is why I love TiVo.  I rarely watch commercials anymore.  Only if I want to watch something live am I forced to see the crappy adverts populating the airwaves.  I don't really care if Swanson wants to make meals with 8 lbs. of food.  But calling it out like it's desirable in some way is just stupid.  Luckily for you, O' eaters of Hungry-Man XXL dinners, I have the solution.  While eating your brontosaurus-sized Hungry-Man ... drink DIET Coke.  That will offset any bad effects of the Hungry-Man.  And drink as much as you like, because 3 cans of Diet Coke is three times more than 1 can, so it will offset three times as much Hungry-Man damage.

I hate morons.  People are morons.  I hate people.