To all my "fans" who think their criticism is witty and intelligent.  To all my readers who think they have found a flaw in one of my arguments or a hole in my discourse.  Your New Year's Resolution for 2004 should be, "I will stop being an idiot."

When I use words like "all" or "none", or "nobody" or "everybody", or "never" or "always", or "guarantee", I am using them as figures of speech.  Do you know what that means?  It means don't take those words literally.  If I say "All politicians are crooks," of course that's true, but I do not mean it in any literal sense.  Obviously not EVERY SINGLE politician is a crook.  You see, that's what a figure of speech is, it's kind of a short-hand way of getting your ideas across.  Understand, moron?

So please, don't be a fucking idiot!  Don't send me email telling me I'm sexist or racist or any other "ist" based on something I wrote using one of the above mentioned words.  Everyone who sends me email is a complete moron who always uses bad grammar and has never articulated a coherent thought in their life, I guarantee it.

Also, I do not wish for you to agree with me, and I'm not interested in your advice on how to improve my site.  This website is written by me, for me.  I write stuff that I like.  I couldn't give two shits if you agree or disagree, or love or hate what I wrote.  This site is all about me, not you.  If you were so smart, you'd have your own website as popular as mine (see Frank Lloyd Wright quote at top of page).

Again, please don't be a fucking idiot!  Don't send me email suggesting that my "best of" lists would be better if I ran them by some people to get other opinions.  My lists are what I think is good, not an average of what America thinks is good.  Do you understand the difference?  What's the point of saying something is the best if I personally don't believe it to be the best?

Finally, please do not send me email telling me that I'm right about something.  I know I'm smart; I know I'm right.  I don't need you to tell me that.  You know, maybe it would be better if you just didn't send me any email at all.  That way I won't be forced to embarrass you in front of the world.  I hate meatheads.