Inspired by the three recent pit bull attacks in the bay area last month, it seemed prudent to pen a follow up to my I Hate Dogs feature from last year.  So ... on with the dog bashing!

Dogs are dangerous.  End of argument.  Certain breeds are more dangerous than others, more likely to be involved in an attack.  Dobermans, Huskies, Rottweilers, and of course, Pit Bulls.  I don't know that Pit Bulls are more dangerous than Rottweilers, but they certainly get all the press.  And I really don't care if they are or not; they're still dangerous, they still suck, and their owners are still lame.  If you have a dangerous dog in your house with children, you get what you deserve.

And if you're not concerned about your own family (maybe you live alone), what will you say on the day you open your front door and the dog doesn't like the looks of the paperboy walking down the street and gives chase?  Even if you call to him, even if he turns around and comes home, what about next time?  What about the fear that kid experienced watching your dog bearing down on him?  And what if he didn't come back, what if he attacked?  Dogs are not people, they don't think the same way we do.  They don't understand that it is "wrong" to maul somebody's arm, there is no innate dog morality ... bites ahoy!

Owners need to be less emotionally attached to their dogs.  Actually, let me rephrase.  Owners can get as attached as they like. as long as they know when to detach.  If you have a dog that shows flashes of anger, or that has ever turned on you, no matter how briefly.  You have to know that dog is dangerous.  It's your responsibility to put that dog down.  A dog is just a loaded weapon, except unlike a gun, you never know what will make it fire.  I know you're out there, you knowing owners of dangerous dogs, I've seen you.  I've seen you hold the leash tighter as people walk past.  I've seen you lock your dog in the garage when company arrives.  Put a bullet in your dog, it's the only responsible thing to do.

And please spare me the bullshit arguments, "would you put a bullet in crocoKid if she acted badly?"  No, of course not.  But here's the part you really need to understand: dogs are not people.  Rinse and repeat.  Dogs are not people.  Dogs are NOT people!  Treating your dog like a person does not make it one.  Your dog is a pet, nothing more.  Like a parakeet or gerbil, although parakeets and gerbils are certainly more pleasant than dogs.  And smarter too.

Now, how do we motivate owners to kill their dangerous dogs?  Stiff legal penalties, that's how.  Dog bites someone?  Two nights in jail for the owner.  Dog bites a child?  One week in jail for the owner.  Dog mauls someone with multiple bites?  One month in jail for the owner.  Dog mauls a child?  Two months in jail.  Dog kills a person?  Six months in jail.  Dog kills a child?  One year in jail.  And those are just the minimums.

Careful, dog owners ... before you object to that suggestion, think carefully.  I've set a trap for you here.  If you think the owners should not be held responsible for their dog's actions, then you are admitting that dogs act independently of owners.  And if you believe dogs act independently, and certain breeds of dogs are known to be involved in more attacks than others, then you can't possibly be against breed specific legislation.  You can't have it both ways, either the owners are responsible, or the breeds of dogs need to be treated differently ... take your choice.

Here's a fascinating article demonstrating the denial of these killer-dog owners, the freaky fantasy world they live in.  The article regards the death of a 12 year-old boy who was left alone in the house with the family dogs.  The mother of the family attempts to explain the situation, and man, she's a piece of work.

She says about the dogs, "We were never seeing any kind of violent tendencies."  Yet, when she left her son alone in the house, she did so by shutting him in the basement and wedging a shovel against the door to hold it closed.  Pardon me, but why did you need to lock him in the basement if the dogs showed no violent tendencies?  She told him to stay down there until she returned, and responded to the death by saying, "Typical Nicky, he wouldn't listen to me."  That woman needs to go to jail.  She followed up that gem with, "When you're born you're destined to go and this was his time."  Excuse me, I have to vomit now.

Here is a letter written by a Pit Bull apologist, explaining why breed specific legislation is stupid.  Here are a few excerpts:

"If I were to say that the majority of cars involved in fatal accidents were red, would one seek to regulate red cars?  No, that would be absurd as we understand it's the driver not the color of the car.  The same is true with dogs, it's the owner."
Cute.  Too bad it ignores the fact that CARS ARE NOT ALIVE.  Cars can't fatally injure someone on their own accord, a person must be driving one.  Dogs, on the other hand, can indeed kill someone without anyone ordering them to or prodding them to.  Find a mean dog, look him in the eye and stare him down ... you're likely to get attacked.  Look a red car in the headlights and stare it down ... nothing will happen.

"It's time to stop pointing fingers at different breeds and start addressing the root of the problem!  Until we address the real issue at hand people will continue to be hurt and that is not acceptable."
I couldn't agree more, which is why we need to ban ALL aggressive dogs no matter what the breed.  And it starts with the owners waking from their slumber of denial and objectively analyzing their own dogs and taking care of business when it's called for.

The author additionally offers these suggestions:

"Add canine safety to the official school curriculum."
As if our schools don't have enough politically correct bullshit to wade through.  They can barely teach English and math as it is.  What say we get schools teaching the basic tenets of education before offering canine safety classes.  Ridiculous.

"Create flyers for parents about being a responsible owner and canine safety."
I wonder how quickly such a flyer would hit the bottom of a garbage pail?  Faster or slower than envelopes marked "urgent - do not discard"?  Great advice ... I'm certain a stack of pamphlets will have the power to reduce the number of dog maulings.

In case any remaining doubts linger regarding the worthlessness of dogs, there's this.  Stupid mongrel.

"It isn't up to others to avoid your dog, it is the other way around."  "It isn't poor training or bad owners mistreating them ... It is the breed."

I recently discovered that some dog owners will pay to get Lasik eye surgery for their dog.  Their dog!  Their poor, poor nearsighted, or farsighted, dog.  Hell, I haven't even paid for that for my wife, let alone my (theoretical) dog.

- crocoPuffs