Top 10s


Feature Things that are pissing me off
Shaq, local news, and Michael Moore.
June 14, 2004
I can't even watch television anymore because of the things I'm subject to.  I mean, I sit down to watch a little 11 o'clock news, and here's what I get:

1)  Shaq, the day after losing a game and falling to 1-3 in the 2004 NBA finals series, poking fun at a reporter during a press conference.  Asking him to wear a nice suit and cut his hair.  Yeah, that's a nice time to make jokes, Shaq.  You're about to lose the NBA championship.  You get paid the big money to WIN NBA championships, not to mock the reporters who are asking you why you're losing.  Actually, I should go easy on Shaq, I'd do the same thing.  But just because I'd do it, doesn't make it any less stupid.

2)  The news team runs a story on a champion Paralympian who will be one of the people carrying the Olympic torch this summer (if you don't know what a Paralympian is, look it up).  When they cut back to the desk jockeys (pardon me, "anchors") in the studio, one of them says "good for her!"  Good for her?  What the hell is that supposed to mean?  That is one of the most belittling things I've ever heard.  You're talking about a person who is an athlete of sound mind.  A person who has battled against odds to be the person she is today.  She's going to carry the torch and you say, "good for her?"  Like it's some kind of favor the Olympic committee is granting her.  Like the Make a Wish Foundation is throwing her a bone.  Good for her?  That's something I might say when my daughter eats all her dinner.  I can't imagine him saying that about anyone else.  If Michael Jordan was carrying the torch, would he say "good for him?"  I don't think so.  It's the kind of thing you say about a 6 year old who sings the national anthem at a sporting event.  She kind of sucks, but she's only a kid and she's trying real hard.  Good for her!

3)  An advertisement comes on for Michael Moore's new documentary film Fahrenheit 9/11.  The ad proclaims it to be "the most controversial film of the year!"  Really, now.  In the year that The Passion of the Christ came out, you're going to proclaim your film the most controversial?  For fuck's sake, not only can't he get his facts straight in his films, but he can't even be accurate in the ads for them.  Besides, how do you measure controversy?  Can he prove that his film is REALLY the most controversial this year?

I had to turn off the TV and ninja-drop-kick it across the street.  I can't watch that much shit in a span of 10 minutes, it pisses me off.

- crocoPuffs


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