Top 10s


Feature Drugs are bad, mmkay
Reformation is overrated.
July 10, 2004
I'm sick of people celebrating reformation.  You can be the worst human being on the planet, turn yourself around, come out clean, and be congratulated for your drastic overhaul.  Fuck those people, they're assholes.  But, who's more of an asshole?  The asshole who reforms, or the assholes who celebrate him?  My vote is for the assholes who celebrate him.

It happens all the time: some schmuck gets hooked on drugs, smokes and snorts for a decade, hurting themselves, their family, their friends in the process, then goes into a rehabilitation clinic.  When the clown comes out of rehab, he is celebrated more than the Easter Bunny in April.  He's trotted out to the local high school, to talk to the kids about the dangers of drugs.  He's beloved again by his family and friends.  He's living clean, and high on life!  Fuck him.  He should have never started taking drugs to begin with.  When will society start celebrating that?  Celebrating people who never do the bad thing in the first place, like we're supposed to?

You can be a pedophile in our society, go to jail, "find God" (whatever that means), serve your time, come home and renounce your former self, then your church will drag you out in front of the congregation to show how "The Lord" saved you.  You can become an inspiration to all the youngsters at church.  You can hold sessions teaching them how to grow and become good citizens.  You can have a private session with a particularly troubled boy, and accidently touch his penis.  Whoops!  Relapse!

That's a problem, isn't it?  The backsliding that these weisenheimers do?  I've known a fair number of people who told me that they quit smoking, or quit drinking, or swore off drugs.  Only to see them a month later smoking, drinking, and shooting up.  Check out the research, many rehabbers end up going back to their vice of choice.  These are people we're supposed to admire?  Fuck that.  They're probably sucking on a crack pipe minutes before they deliver a speech to teenagers about staying off drugs.

God help us if the rehabbed person is already a celebrity.  A famous actor, author, or director who comes out of rehab is treated by the media like the second coming of Christ.  Folks like Drew Barrymore and Robert Downey Jr.

It's all well and good that people are turning their lives around.  It doesn't warrant a blowout gala in their honor, though.  Particularly considering most of them backslide anyway.  Let's start congratulating the people who never fucked themselves up in the first place.  I'll start it right here.  To all of you who have never tried drugs and never harmed another person, my hat is off to you.  You are the respectable people of society.  You are the ones for children to look up to.  You are the role models.  Nice job.

- crocoPuffs


Reader Response

Date: 9/17/2004
From: doumo_arigatou98
Subject: RE: Drugs are bad, mmkay

Stereotyping is fun. Mmmm Kay ?

Thanks for the email, Sarky Sarcasmton!  I have two things to say to you.

First, seems like I hit a sensitive spot on you.  Care to chime in on where you fall?  Are you a backsliding alcoholic?  Or are you a celebrity who tokes before filming your anti-drug commercials?

Second, what stereotype are you referring to?  The one where people wrongheadedly celebrate the reformed instead of the people who never did anything in the first place?  If so, then I'm with you.  That stereotype needs to be changed, pronto.  Or maybe you're reffering to the generalization I made based on reported research?  If so, then try to understand; statistics are not stereotypes.  They're facts.

Nice try, rookie!

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