Top 10s


Feature Terrorist jackasses
They can't terrorize their way out of a paper bag.
October 27, 2004
There's a new terrorist-issued video which contains more threats against the United States.  You can read about it here and here.

The speaker in the video claims, "After decades of American tyranny, now it's your turn to die."  "The streets will run with blood."  And, an attack "could come at any moment."  Yeah, yeah.  I know ... attacks are imminent.  9/11 was only the beginning.  Yadda, yadda.  I'm shaking in my boots over here.

Maybe these terrorists have lost track of time.  9/11 was three fucking years ago.  Three years!  In three years they have not managed even a hint of an attack in the United States.  These empty threats are stupid.  If 9/11 was only the beginning, then where is all the promised death and destruction?  In three years they've managed zip.  They suck at being terrorists.  Their idea of terror is making videos.  Nice try, rookies!

In a time when America's borders let millions into the country every year, these jackasses can't manage one bombing?  Not one death?  They're like the 3 stooges of terrorism.  We're winning this war, and they have no cards left to play except attempts to propagate fear through threats, and kidnapping innocent civilians within their own countries.  By the way, it's beyond me why any non Iraqi civilian would stay in Iraq at this point.  If you're American, British, Irish, Russian, African, Mexican, whatever ... get the fuck out of there!

And I suppose it's just a coincidence the tape was obtained only a week before our presidential election.  Think someone's trying to influence the voters?  Nah, that couldn't be it.  The more terrorists try to get Bush out of office, the more I want to keep him there.  If Bush was all soft on terrorism and made it easy for them to operate they would be more than happy to have him back for four more years.  The fact that they don't want him as our president tells me he's doing something right.

Courtesy of a savvy friend, here's a quote to sum up exactly what I'm talking about.
"All warfare is based on deception.  Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.  Hold out baits to entice the enemy.  Feign disorder, and crush him."
- Sun Tzu, the Art of War

- crocoPuffs


Update (December 23, 2004)

I've noticed a definite drop off in civilian captures and beheadings in Iraq.  Only three things can be responsible for this.  One, they aren't happening any more.  Two, the media isn't reporting them anymore.  Three, everybody read this article, took my advice, and got the fuck out of there.

While the third option is the most likely, I'll examine the first two anyway.  At the time I wrote this article it seemed like decapitations were reported from Iraq daily.  Is it a coincidence that since the election this shit seems to have ceased?  I smell manipulation.  Either the terrorists were attempting to influence the election with their actions or the media was attempting to influence the election with their coverage.  Either option stinks.

By the way, two months later and still no attacks in the U.S.

- crocoPuffs

 © 2004 crocopuffs.com.  All rights reserved.