hanksgiving. Everyone knows the holiday, everyone gets the day off work, everyone watches the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions play football, everyone eats a big meal of potatoes, beans, cranberry, sweet potatoes, stuffing, and ... tofurkey?
Personally, I'm not the biggest fan of thanksgiving dinner. I think it would be better to eat something truly special on this day - albeit less traditional - like prime rib. Because, how often do you eat prime rib compared to turkey? Turkey sandwiches are eaten all the time, it's everyday food. If you're going to have a big feast with delicious food that you look forward to every year, why not go with prime rib? That's something I can look forward to!
Well, whatever meat you eat, just make sure it's REAL meat. Not something scientifically engineered to taste like meat. I don't understand tofurkey, it's a ridiculous product. If you don't already know, it's a turkey-shaped hunk of tofu designed to taste like turkey. I've heard vegetarians rave about how much tofurkey tastes like real turkey (or chicken). Look, if you want so badly to eat something that tastes like turkey, just eat some fucking turkey! It makes no fucking sense to dedicate your life to not eating meat products, and then go out of your way to eat something that tastes just like meat! What's the point? If you want to eat meat, just eat it, don't dick around by only pretending to eat it.
It would be the same as if some ass-clown went around with a cigarette dangling from his lips, but never inhaled the smoke. Just letting it burn, and pretending like he's smoking it. He doesn't want to endanger his health, because his life and health are oh-so-important, but he likes the taste of cigarettes. Shouldn't he just smoke the damn thing already? I mean, if he wants to smoke, then smoke, don't be such a goddamned pussy about it! He'd look ridiculous not actually smoking it.
And you look equally ridiculous eating something that tastes like meat when you have sworn off meat. Same goes for garden burgers and all the other not-meats-that-taste-and-look-like-meat. If you're going to be a vegetarian, then eat all your carrots and lettuce like good little boys and girls, and forget about meat. Seriously, forget about it, don't search out things that taste like it, look like it, smell like it. Leave the meat to the people who aren't too touchy-feely to eat it. The next person I see eating tofurkey gets a flying ninja scissor-kick to the skull.