Attention: Waiters!  When you come to my table to take my order, do not sit down at the table.  I did not invite you to join my party.  I don't even know if that's your real name pinned to your shirt, why would you think I want you to sit at my table?  If you insist on sitting down, then I insist on pulling out the chair from under you as you try to sit.  Go somewhere else and attach some extra flare to your uniform or something. 

I'm not your friend, why are you trying to be so friendly?  What do you want from me that is making you smile so much?  My money?  Well, you can't have any, so don't bother trying to sell me an extra baked potato or pushing dessert on me.  Are you this nice to people on the street?  I seriously don't understand the obsession with being "nice".  What one person calls nice, I call insecure and lonely, punk.