Grade:  F

Director:  William Malone		Released:  August 2002
Writer:  Josephine Coyle, Moshe Diamant		MPAA Rating:  R
Players:  Stephen Dorff, Natascha McElhone		Running time:  101 minutes

Ratings System

FearDotCom, aka PieceOfShitDotCom, is a waste of time.  Your time, my time, anybody who worked on it's time.  It's probably a waste of your time to read this review, I KNOW it's a waste of my time to write it.

All seriousness aside, here's what's wrong: the script, the plot, the direction, the casting, the locations, the characters, the props, and the acting.  Definitely the acting.  Since ALL of the actors sucked (Dorff is the only one not dead-on-arrival), I can only assume that the director is at fault.  This is the kind of story that doesn't bother telling you anything about the characters, which leads to nothing but audience apathy.  People are getting killed in this movie, but who cares!?  I don't, and why should I.  I wasn't told anything about the characters that would make me care if they lived or died.  I mean absolutely nothing, it's disgraceful.

I can almost picture how this movie got made.  I don't know this to be true, but here's how I imagine it: Studio A and Studio B hear about this great horror film from Japan, so they each try to secure the rights to a remake.  Studio A wins that battle and makes The Ring.  Studio B, in an effort to steal Studio A's thunder, uses the same idea but switches it from a killer video to a killer website and releases FearDotCom a couple months ahead of The Ring.  Nice try, rookies!

- crocoPuffs