Grade:  A

Director:  Paul Verhoeven		Released:  September 1995
Writer:  Joe Eszterhas		MPAA Rating:  NC-17
Players:  Elizabeth Berkley, Gina Gershon, Kyle MacLachlan		Running time:  131 minutes

Ratings System

I didn't know this movie was fucking hilarious until the audience clued me in.  I saw this in the theatre with crocoWife when it was released in 1995.  I thought we were going to see a movie about the inner workings of Las Vegas and strip clubs with a gratuitous heap of nudity.  Then the movie started, Nomi (Elizabeth Berkley) whipped out that switchblade and scowled, and I didn't know what the hell I was watching.  Gradually, the audience began to laugh.  Laughed at Nomi's wild mood swings.  Laughed at Nomi's dance moves.  Laughed at Nomi's ... well, laughed at Nomi, period.  Nomi is the comedian, the rest of the cast is the straight man.

Berkley's performance is one for the comedy hall of fame.  She plays Nomi Malone for schizophrenic laughs at every turn.  She cries, she fights, she's happy. she's angry, she's miserable, she has a new best friend.  And that's all in one scene!  Brilliant!  As if that's not enough, she also knows karate!  Excellent!  Check out her execution of the spinning-ninja straight-legged spiked-heel kick to the face!

On the other hand, Gina Gershon gives a truly brilliant performance as Crystal Connors.  While Berkley tries her best to play Nomi straight, to make the most out of her first big movie opportunity, Gershon seems to know exactly what kind of movie she's in.  Every line, every "darlin'" she utters drips with cheese.  She's a cynical, Texas-accented cartoon with the wisdom of Yoda and the body of a "goddess."

The rest of the characters are memorable too.  Memorable, but not necessarily realistic.  There's the strip club manager and his little fat woman sidekick who constantly flashes her boobs.  There's Nomi's friend and roommate who gets raped by a celebrity.  And there's the Stardust manager (Kyle MacLachlan) who hooks up with Nomi and makes her a star.  All of these characters get naked at some point.  The way the characters in this movie relate to and talk to and treat each other is so bizarre at times I wonder about the sanity of the screenwriter.

Shockingly, the rampant nudity does not enhance my enjoyment of this movie.  For one, I don't like Elizabeth Berkley's body and she's the main source of all the nakedness.  For two, the nudity is so unerotic, so sterile, so unsexy there may as well not have been any nudity at all.  On the other hand, the nudity does play a key role in a few scenes.  Like the audition scene with the ice on the nipples and the infamous pool sex scene.

Yes, the pool sex scene.  This scene is so exuberant in it's ridiculousness it is difficult not to appreciate it as anything other than an epic cinematic comedic moment.  The flailing, the screaming, the splashing.  Comedy gold.  In no other film has sex been portrayed as more hilarious, more unerotic, or more undesirable.

If only they had left out that rape scene (it brings an unwelcome tone of seriousness to the proceedings), this movie would merit an A+.  Showgirls is the very definition of "so bad, it's good."  By far my favorite bad movie.

- crocoPuffs