Grade:  F

Director:  Hideo Nakata		Released:  March 2005
Writer:  Ehren Kruger		MPAA Rating:  R
Players:  Naomi Watts, David Dorfman, Simon Baker		Running time:  111 minutes

Ratings System

This movie is ass.

The biggest problem being it just ain't scary.  It contributes a few cheap jump-in-your-seat moments, but there's no terror, no horror, and no suspense.  The script is full of nonsense, such as when a group of deer attack a car for no apparent reason, leaving the scene completely meaningless.  In another scene, a bathroom door closes and locks itself for some sort of spooky reason, and inexplicably unlocks and opens itself moments later.  If mysterious forces are going to take the trouble to lock a door, why not do something worth locking the door for?  Apparently, this ghost needed privacy to temporarily reverse the forces of gravity.

And what about the dead people?  Rachel's (Naomi Watts) small town is portrayed as so boring that a cat in a tree makes headline news, but when a teenager turns up dead it's never mentioned again the rest of the movie.  And at one point, Rachel finds a dead guy parked outside her house, alas, the movie is over before any explanation as to what happened with him is offered.  Was she suspected of murder?  Did the town make the connection between this death and the teenager's?  And what about the dead doctor in the hospital?  Nobody mentions her, so I assume nobody noticed her corpse.

One of the worst aspects of the first film was the kid who played Aidan (David Dorfman), Rachel's son, unfortunately he is the center of attention in the sequel, and he sucks balls in every scene.

Finally, why is this picture ripping shit from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies?  There's a scene in The Ring Two where all the water from a bathtub is defying gravity and flowing toward the ceiling which directly mimics the scene in A Nightmare on Elm Street after Johnny Depp gets his from Freddy.  Later in The Ring Two, two characters communicate through their dreams while asleep, which is ripped from A Nightmare on Elm Street 3.  And the basic story of Samara trying to take over the body of Aidan is the exact plot of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2!  What the hell!?

- crocoPuffs